Chibi Memie

CHIBI HAS A MEME!  And she totes wants us all to play along.  She gave us 11 questions and tagged 11 people, plus all Fluffers.  We're supposed to come up with 11 more questions and tag 11 more people.  So here are my answers:

What colour are your underwear right now?

I seriously just checked.  It's always funny to look down your own pants while in the kitchen.  They're army green.

What’s your least favourite food?

Oh god, I could go on and on.  I hate: butterscotch-flavored anything, banana-flavored anything (except real bananas, which are okay), peach-flavored anything (see banana caveat), spaghetti, crab, scallops, mango chutney, those really thick french fries, waffle fries, the puffy kind of Cheetos, anything in the pork/beef family. . .

Does it bother you when I put extra letters in my word? Well, too bad: I’m Canadian, eh?

I think it's hot.

How do you like your eggs?

I can't get my husband's joke of "fertilized" out of my head.  I go through phases with eggs.  I'll swear them off altogether for months and then suddenly I can't get enough of them.  I also go through phases with how I like to cook them.  I did a hardcore omelet stint for awhile and became so adept at making them that I contemplated opening a B&B just so I could make them for the masses.  For right now, I like them scrambled up over a ton of veggies.  And cheese.  God, you have got to have cheese.

What book are you currently reading? Should I read it?

I'm reading Larry's Party by Carol Shields.  One of the chapters is called Larry's Penis.  After I've read that chapter, I'll let you know whether or not the book is worth reading.

Did you have an imaginary friend? What was his/her name?

I have a hard time keeping up with real people.  Oh wait, DID I?  I tried.  I remember trying very hard to invent an imaginary friend, but it didn't really take.  I think I kept forgetting her name or something.

What is your guiltiest pleasure, keeping in mind I’m Prudy McPruderson, Mayor of Prudeville?

Well, you probably asked the wrong girl then.  Seriously?  Okay, once you take all the sins of the flesh out of the equation, you're left with dark chocolate, cold beer, and sleeping pills.  Not to be taken together.  Too often.  That makes me sound like a hardcore addict, and I'm not.  What I am is a hardcore insomniac who goes off the deep end after too many consecutive nights of being awake.  One Tylenol PM restarts the whole cycle back at its glorious beginnings again.  It has the added bonus of meaning my husband gets to wake up with the Asthmatic One when she starts coughing at 2 am.  Thus, a guilty pleasure.

If you could have any job in the whole wide world, what would it be?

I'd be a midwife in a country that actually uses midwives.

Do you watch Toddlers & Tiaras?

I watched it once.  You know what pisses me off about that show?  That the intention of the show is to piss us off.  I hate emotional manipulation.

What CD is in your CD player? (Do you still have one of those? If not, what was the last song played on your MP3 player? Should I be listening to them/her/him/it?)

I have a DVD player that plays CDs.  In it is one of my kids' Mandarin CDs.  The last song to grace my iPod was Thunder and Lightning by We Were Promised Jetpacks.  And yes, you should absolutely be listening to him/her/it.  If you have Dropbox, hit me up and I'll drop it to you.

Shoes: off at the door, or wear ‘em through the house?

For the first time ever in my life, I've instituted a take-em-off policy.  My kids are so effing dirty.  That being said, I'm sitting at my kitchen table wearing a pair of Nikes as we speak.  Nikes and army green underwear.  That's all you need to know.

And here are my questions:

1. What's the last movie you saw that was worth recommending?
2. If you had to suddenly choose another spouse, and you had your pick of anyone in the world, living or dead, who would you pick?
3. Boxers or briefs?  Or commando?
4. Hand sanitizer: the gel that's going to save you from a flesh-eating virus or the menace that is creating flesh-eating viruses?
5. If you got to pick one celebrity to be your mom, who would it be?
6. How come you don't want your mom to be your mom?
7. Lights on or lights off?
8. When I finally find the right dog to adopt, what should I name it?
9. Who would you rather have sex with: Richard Simmons or Nancy Grace?  Yes, you have to choose, and no, suicide is not an acceptable answer.
10. Okay, give us your favorite rant.  We'll listen to you.
11. How often do you eat food that you know is fucking terrible for you?

And I'm tagging y'all: Amelia, Rachel, David, Dana, Lindsey, Andrea, Amanda, and omg I can't hyperlink all of these.  And whoever else wants to play.